by
Tammy Wilber
![]() |
Tammy in her Abilities Expo 2009 fashion show wedding gown, when Cameron first saw his future bride! |
As a
little girl, I dreamed about what my wedding day would be like. Who will be my
Prince Charming and will I live happily ever after? The answer is this: I do
have a fairytale ending, but the story turned out much differently than I
expected. The introduction to my story starts like this:
“In a kingdom far, far away lives a 35-year-old princess
named Tammy. She is going to be a bride for the first time. She never imagined
that, on her wedding day, instead of walking down the aisle next to her father,
she would be she would be rolling down the aisle in her wheelchair.”
![]() |
Cameron and Tammy |
When I
was first injured, I wondered who was going to love a girl in a wheelchair. Then
as I started dating, I went through the typical ups and downs in relationships.
I have attracted some strange guys over the years and have dated the bad boy,
the Jerry Seinfeld look-alike, and even someone covered head to toe in tattoos.
What hurt the most was years ago when I was interested in someone whom I had
known a long time, and he was honest enough to tell me it was just too difficult
to date someone in a wheelchair. It was
very tough for me to accept these words because I had no control over having a
disability and realized that anyone I dated had to accept the whole package or
I needed to move on.
I have
never really had a “type” of guy because I felt that when you are in a
wheelchair, sometimes your choices are limited. Nonetheless, I still had standards. I
always found guys that I dated fell into three categories: 1) They worked in the medical field, 2) They
knew someone already in a wheelchair, or 3) They just didn’t care about my
disability. What always bothered me the most was when people made
assumptions about my dating life and assumed I only dated guys in wheelchairs.
I took offense to a statement like that because I hated being judged and I felt
like they were saying that an able-bodied person would never be with me. What I
could have never predicted was that it didn’t matter if the person was in a wheelchair
or not; love is love! In my “happily
ever after,” instead of Prince Charming riding up on his horse to save me, he
sat in a silver wheelchair!
Cameron
and I met two years ago at the Abilities Expo in Anaheim, California. I was
there to model adaptive women’s clothing in a wheelchair fashion show. Cameron attended
the Abilties Expo to learn more about the disability community since he was
only three years post-injury. While at the Expo, Cameron made his way over to
the fashion show and saw me on the runway wearing a white silky skirt with a matching
white top. After I added a flower to my hair, people said I looked like a
bride. When Cameron saw me, he said I took his breath away, and he thought
to himself, “I’ll take that one!” Then, at the Expo, Cameron and I met and exchanged
information. I went back to Seattle and he went back to Las Vegas. We become
instant friends through social networks, a few phone calls, and then I moved to
Las Vegas two years later for a job. I ended up moving right down the road from
Cameron, and for a few months he was perisistent and asked me out a few times, but
I just wanted to be friends. However, once I realized what an amazing guy he
was I didn’t want anyone else to get him, so I finally agreed to a date and we
have been inseperatable ever since.
When Cameron proposed to me, the scene was right out of a
movie, except the leading couple used wheelchairs. We went back to the place where
our love story began and attended the 2011 Abilities Expo. On the pier at sunset
by our hotel in Hermosa Beach, Cameron used a bench to lower himself out of his
wheelchair, and to the best of his ability got down on one knee, took my hand
and asked me to marry him. I immediatley said yes!
![]() |
After Cameron's proposal to Tammy |
There
are advantages to being with someone in a wheelchair because you will never
have to look up at them, and there are always enough medical supplies to go
around. Or if my tire should get a flat, I can transfer onto his lap and
Cameron can give me a ride. We can share and participate in many
activities geared towards people with disabilities. Yet, despite all the
advantages, there are disadvantages: grocery shopping with two people in
wheelchairs is not easy. Cleaning is a challenge when both one of us can’t
reach very high. Moreover, two disabilties add up financially. We have
discussed ways to make our lives easier, but everything costs so much. I would
love to renovate his kitchen to make it bigger for both of us, but it is too
expensive. A mini-van would also make life easier but who has forty thousand
dollars to spend? Right now Cameron has a truck and it takes us forever to get
and out, but we manage. We will continue to figure things out and adapt as
we move forward with wedding planning and our future.
It has
now been a few months since our engagement and we are a little slow in the
aspect of wedding planning. We are trying to get all our ducks in a row and
take then next step, moving in together in January! Although, this slow-paced
planning hasn’t kept me from looking for a wedding dress because, “It’s all
about the dress!” I took a trip to David’s Bridal with my mom and future
mother-in-law. It was quite an adventure trying on those dresses because
it takes an army to put a gigantic wedding dress on a paraplegic. After the
first couple of dresses, my mom and Denise realized it was easier to lay the
wedding gowns on the front of me and then if it looked like a possibility, we
would fight our way through my leg spasms and all the dress material. After a
couple of hours, we were all exhausted from wedding dress shopping and, just
when I thought I found the wedding gown I wanted, I went back a couple days
later and found the dress I truly knew I wanted to wear as I married Cameron.
![]() |
Cameron and Tammy |
Tammy is working as a Clinical Admin Coordinator at United Health Group in Las Vegas. Visit her website at http://teamcamtam.blogspot.com and send Tammy an email at Tammywheels@yahoo.com.
The story is beautiful... I just learned something new... love, Pat
ReplyDeleteA well told Fairy Tale. I can't wait to see the Happily Ever After!!! The most amazing part about this story is the Princess. What an amazing woman you are and I admire you for all you have done!
ReplyDeleteI love you both.
Love,
Amy
Tammy
ReplyDeleteI love the story and think it needs to be heard
I am actualy engaged to the love of my life who happens to have a complete c-5 spinal cord injury, we are getting married 11-11-11 and all of your concerns are hers as well. I dont have a spinal cord injury. and on a daily basis she inspires me to work harder and realise there is nothing we cant do together. she is a full time student working towords a phd psycology/socialogy and wants to work with newly injured people. she will be fantastic.
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