by Bethany Hoppe
There is no denying that each of us has Desires, even at the most
basic level of being thirsty or hungry. Beyond that, we might get into creature
comforts and our sexual appetites. Some people base personal Desires on material things such
as clothing, buying certain labels, or simply owning things, regardless of how
little the possessions mean to them or how soon they tire of them. Generally,
the Human Animal constantly functions on its Desires for comfort, sustenance,
survival, and safety.
Mistakenly, our society often likes to point out the materialism
of today’s culture, but fails to consider the Spiritual-Emotional needs of the
Person as part of the equation. Out of our frustration, we have become really good at pointing
fingers at one another, judging one another on how much or how little one
earns, and applying unfounded meanings to the words wealthy and poor. And worse, we then self-apply these unfounded meanings to our physicality,
emotional stability, or mental capacity with even more labels. We constantly validate or in-validate
ourselves and those around us with very little thought.
But the fact still remains that we all have Desires.
And we should.
And we should.
Without Desires, we would totally lose interest in the gifts in
and around us. Some might label this as depression, and they would be correct
to do so. There is
Spiritual depression. Emotional
depression. Physical
depression. Mental
depression. To say
that someone who is lacking in Desires is depressed in any one of these forms
would be very accurate.
However, we all have the ability and the right to
Desire more for ourselves, for our families, for our Loved Ones, and for
Earth as a whole.
For Me, it begs the question: What about Disability and Desirability?
What are our Desires as Women with Disabilities, as Women first? What do we want? Where do we want to be Right
Now? Where do
we want to go in the Immediate Future? And how in hell do we get there from
here? How do we
begin to tap into our Inner Desires? How do we reach the point of Desire-Ability?
As Women with Disabilities, we know first-hand that we have never
gone about our lives in a typical fashion like our standing peers. We have always, in every circumstance,
and in every way possible, problem-solved our lives to get things done
differently, often at a much slower pace than we would like.
First, for clarification, when it comes to Women with
Disabilities – there is no distinction between those who came into this life
with a disability at birth, or those who acquired a disability somewhere along
this Life’s Path. Each Woman
with a Disability experiences all of the same questions, yearnings, concerns,
worries, pain, and adjustments through all of the stages of a Woman’s
Life. We all need to
be skilled at adaptability each in our own way, under the heading of
disability. Disability
really doesn’t care how it came to be. But, in contrast to the clinical,
we do care about how we manage it, based off
of our Desires for the Life we’ve imagined for ourselves.
Very recently, I was led to take a good look at Myself in terms
of my Life Goals and Purpose, as well as the Intentions behind them. I have experienced a few bitch-slaps in
My Life that have really thrown me for a loop. Who hasn't?
Most recently I thought I was on the right path for Myself and
Others, which I am...only the approach was very skewed.
Unfortunately, I began to believe that My Path, with all of its
good Intentions, was worthy enough of a cause for me to ignore and stuff away
some of the details that actually did not work well for me Spiritually or
Emotionally. I had become
convinced, like nearly everyone else that I know, that suffering and extremely
hard work was simply part of the sacrifice required to follow One’s
Destiny.
So I stubbornly, however emotionally taxed, deliberately
pressed on ignoring the small voice and multiple signals indicating to Me that
several aspects of my Life Path were off course. After a great deal of meditation,
reflection, and some unfortunate physical set-backs, I began to come to terms
with what My deep Inner Personal True Desires were.
I began to realize that it was impossible to live out this life
and fulfill its Loving Contracts if I kept stuffing Myself into a box that did
not fit Me. I realized
that I did not have to do things the way Others expected me to, or even the way
things had always been done. Gradually I learned that by following My
instincts, by listening to My Guides…what I call my Spirit Band or Guardian
Angels…and My Spiritual Self, that I could live My life from the perspective of
a Woman with a Disability the way that I wanted to. Spiritually. Complete. Capable. Whole in who I am right now.
To get there, it took getting quiet every
day and listening
to the truthful consistent voice inside that was telling me what to do.
Bit by bit, I began to unravel the knots I’d tied Myself into. I had become so wrapped up in what I
thought were requirements, rules, and the expectations of Others, that I could
no longer hear My own Inner Desires speaking anymore. All I knew is that I wanted things to
happen in My life that weren’t showing up, and that I was working incredibly
hard twenty-four and seven with no real satisfying or lasting results.
What a toxic combination! I was working hard at doing things for Others their way to such an extent I had completely
shut off My own thoughts and Desires, and instead began struggling for just a
scrap of evidence that I had done something - just one thing - for Me. I began striving for mere tokens of
evidence that My Original Purposeful Life Path was still in the mix
somewhere.
I’m not alone in that toxic, debilitating cycle! Just look
around and you can see the mounting frustration people are experiencing as they
get further from their Truth and Opportunities as Individuals, Communities,
Systems, Organizations, Corporations, and even Nations.
Slowly I began to let go, and so can You. I began to get back to Me and my
Destined Path based on Free-Will. I began to choose to take Inspired Action in
ways that worked best for Myself, as well as for those around Me, minus the
self-sacrificing and self-sabotage.
What works for Me is reaching out to Others both in my similar
situation and to those completely unfamiliar with Disability Experience, to
touch that inner core of Humanity that we are all familiar with, or at least
are able to recognize when we witness it….Our Spiritual Self...and Wake it
Up.
See Your Desire. And know you have the Ability to
achieve it.
Desire-Ability.
Desire-Ability.
We are Spiritual beings first. The rest that gets tacked onto us –
gender, orientation, status, disability, belief systems – dictate to us who we
think we are, what we think we want, and where we think we want to go. The beautiful part about those
life-cycle add-ons is that we are able to change any one of them at any
time. We are able,
at any time in our Life Story, to declare that this is not how our story will
end. And that is
vital to our understanding our Desires.
This means that regardless of a disability or
circumstance we might view as insurmountable, or not currently understood by
us, we all have Desire-Ability. We all have from our inner Spiritual core the Ability to not
only follow our Desires, but to make adjustments to them as we go.
Law of Attraction states everything is Vibration. Positive
Vibration feels good; negative vibration feels bad. Keeping a
clear focus on what you want - meaning keeping close tabs on how your emotions
are as you Create, Consider, and Think about your Desires and the methods You
feel are best to obtain them. Try to remember that those emotional
reactions should feel good. When they do not, something is wrong. It is off. It is not in alignment
with you, and your best mode of succeeding. It is a signal that you
should change tack.
As humans, we are deeply entrenched into
thinking that things are supposed to be difficult. That we are supposed to
trod alongside everyone else even if it is painful to our psyche, distracting
to our goals, and taking us further away from living our Truth.
Everyone can live their Truth. It is
non-denominational. Truth supersedes disability, economics, and those people and things that
believe they are dominant over us. If your Truth is to demonstrate for human
rights…do this. If your Truth is to do everything in your power to live independently…do
this. If your Truth is to no longer believe in thoughts of physical, mental,
emotional, spiritual, or chemical control…do this, too.
The sooner each of us discovers and lives our
Truth, the sooner Earth becomes the beautiful, peaceful, abundant place it is
intended to Be. We should all be busy with the work cut out for us to live as free inner
beings, helping – not judging – one another along their personal path, by first
settling things with ourselves.
It just may be that some of us…those rare ones
among a world of standing people, those noticeable ones functioning in a world
not so accessible or flexible…are lighting up the world...differently.
What is your Desire? State it. Stick to it. You are Able to achieve
it.
You have Desire-Ability.
Bethany is available as a
contributing writer for mobileWOMEN and Disability Resource. She is also
speaker and workshop facilitator. Visit her at
www.bethany-hoppe.com.
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