By Katie Rodriguez Banister
A couple of inches
Of frozen white icing
Reinforce the reality of
My paralysis
My chair can make it
From the bedroom
Down the hall
To my office
Pausing in the kitchen
To munch
And why am I so darn hungry all the time?
I don’t recommend paralysis as a diet plan
But it helps when you can’t open the refrigerator yourself
But it’s not just the icing
That stops me
The temperature isn’t inviting either
The birds are fine
With feathers for weather
Cold blooded bodies
And I wonder
Would l like that?
As I wait
I contemplate
I think it warms up the old gray matter
Looking out my wide and picturesque window
Fully accessible
I’m grateful that the sun is lower
At this time of the year
The rays warm my paralyzed parts
Like hot fudge
On a sundae
I have a body’s thermostat
That cannot regulate itself
Twenty-five years
Of paralysis have passed
And I live with a predominantly healthy mind
But winter
Will always be
An adversary of this woman on wheels
WHAT HELPS
What helps me at this time of year is seeing my therapist, writing, and a good movie. Winter is incredibly difficult. I’m somewhat affected by SAD (seasonal affected disorder) but writing, painting, checking out Facebook or calling friends usually keeps me in check. And, my husband is a very sensitive and loving man.
There are occasions though, when I share my less than optimistic feelings with others and they respond with, “Oh Katie. Just snap out of it.” But for someone with depression that’s much easier said than practiced. When my depression kicks I need a little tea and sympathy and with an abundance of white icing, I drink a lot more tea!
Katie Rodriguez Banister, President, Access-4-All, llc
She Is a speaker, author and disability educator.
She has spent half her life as a woman on wheels since an auto accident at age twenty-five.
As a former Miss Wheelchair Missouri her platform was “Creating Healthy Coping Skills” and she has shared her message on a local and national level.