“A playbook for all of
us about the power of love...”
Lee Woodruff, New York Times #1 bestselling author, In an Instant
Annette Ross’ inspirational memoir details her personal
challenges, financial struggles, and the life-altering medical error that left
her unable to walk. Join Annette and her family on this journey to reclaim a
lost fairy tale.
“What just happened?” Bill asked, looking serious. “Are you okay, Annette?”
I took in a breath and thought, “I’m still breathing, so I guess I am.”
“How are you?” the doctor demanded, not hiding her annoyance. Did it matter?
“Something is not right,” was all I could utter. The
doctor’s response: “You’re being dramatic.”
Maybe so! I was in labor, my legs were on fire, and
something had happened when she placed that needle in my back.
(Months later, when the nurses who’d been on duty that
night were interviewed by our legal team, they said they’d heard me scream, but
hadn’t come in to see what had happened. They’d arrived later, to hold my legs
during delivery. In her own deposition, the anesthesiologist used the word “histrionic” to describe
my behavior.)
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Annette & Bill on their wedding day |
* * *
September
2012
I sat in
the bathroom staring at another positive pregnancy test. It was the night of Natalie’s
first high-school homecoming dance and her friends were at our house, wearing short
dresses and high heels and looking gorgeous. There was general excitement in the
air, but I was locked behind the door, panicked. Should I scream? Cry? Risk telling
an already miserable husband? Once Nat left with her friends, I broke the news.
“Bill, I need to tell you something, but please do not be upset.” He always hated
when I said that. And, to be sure, Bill was shocked, maybe too shocked to be upset.
“Show me
the test.” He went right out to buy another test so we could be sure. The results
were consistent. He shook his head, hugged me, but said very little. A few minutes
into his disbelief he asked, “How do you feel?” His concerns always centered around
me. “Do you think this will be okay for you?”
I shrugged
my shoulders. How could I know? Always somewhat fearful of my post-injury pregnancies,
I admitted, “I am scared, Bill. I can only think this will not end well.” But he
would never say no to life. Despite the precariousness of our situation, Bill was
not going to try to sway me one way or another. Like he has done throughout our
long relationship, he lets me be me. I can’t say I always do the same. This latest
pregnancy made me feel as if we were being tested again, and I asked him what he thought.
“I don’t
think of it that way, Annette. I only know I would not change any aspect of our
life if it meant we would not have the girls.” But he did not have the worry of
a pregnancy. Could I do it? Endure nine months of worry at a time when so many things
were uncertain? The miscarriages of 2007, 2008, and 2009 were not at the forefront
of my thoughts any longer. I did not miss the sorrow. The raw feelings I had finally
compartmentalized soon resurfaced. Our entire household was too fragile to take
this on, I thought. It was not a good time to have a baby.
A friend
of mine had recently given birth to a delightful baby girl. Whenever I saw them
at church, I longed to squeeze those sweet baby cheeks but when she would start
to fuss, I was relieved that our kids were past the stage of diapers, nursing, and
sleepless nights. That said, if someone were to drop a baby at our door, would we
not take it in? The short answer was yes. It wasn’t that I did or didn’t want a
baby. I was 45-years-old and the thought had not seriously crossed my mind in years.
My heart said yes.
![]() |
Annette & her girls in her Raw Beauty Project photo |
(Willow
Street Press September 2016)
About the author: Annette was born
in Chicago, graduated from Sarah Lawrence, and lives with her husband and five
daughters in San Diego. She has been a board member of the Christopher and Dana
Reeve Foundation and is a proud model in The Raw Beauty Project. Where Fairy Tales Go is
her first book.
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